Soul Stirrings…

            Candy wrappers, torn movie tickets, bus tickets, concert tickets, play tickets, tissue napkins, bar receipts, the list goes on and on. Name it, I keep it.

            I have a boxful of them, some may call them “basura” but to me they are precious mementos from eventful moments of my life.

            I was rummaging through it one night and I saw (again) letters and postcards way back from my elementary days (wow, that sounds ages ago). I have tissue napkins from Dunkin donuts (we ate there when it first opened in Pacita, I had my classmates sign their names on the napkin, my, it was so highschoolish), Jollibee, Shakeys and the famous (ha!ha!) Blongskis (only in Pacita, it closed years ago). It was such a big deal for us barkada to eat there, (we only go there on special occasions) having such a meager allowance.

I kept my first bus ticket on my first day as a college student. I still have the receipt from the first bar I ever went to (Padis Point in Greenhills). One of my most valued “basura” is the tissue napkin used by my professor in college. I had the biggest crush on him, so when he took me and 2 of my friends out to a movie and dinner, I secretly got hold of the napkin he used and have kept it since.

I had to stop my reminiscing for while as I have to do a very daunting task. The reason I was rummaging it in the first place. I took out a paper bag full of love letters, cards, chocolate wrappers, dried roses and other gift items. I hated seeing them for they evoke such hateful feelings. I don’t like feeling this way, but for me to formally let go, I have no other choice but to do this.

I was mulling over throwing, burying, or keeping it. After much thought, I decided to keep it. Why did I, if it stirs up such hateful feelings? It’s not that I was clinging to the person or the memories. He was a big part of my past, and I will not be the person that I am now had it not been for that experience. They’re a simple reminder to me of how my life has been and where I want to go.

What had been a very hurtful experience, turned into a blessing in so many ways.

            I will end this with an excerpt from an e-mail my friend sent me:

“The past is over; I plan for tomorrow and live for today.

All my experiences are allowing me to become a stronger and wiser person.

As I let go of attachments, I create room for fulfilling and soulful experiences.

I let go easily for I trust that new and exciting opportunities are on their way.

All endings are inexorably tied to new beginnings. That’s the

nature of the journey. It continues to unfold. It builds on

itself. It can’t help itself from doing that. Cherish the moments,

all of them. You have seen and felt much in life so far. But still,

the best is yet to come."

–Melody Beattie

This entry was posted on Monday, December 26th, 2005 at 6:06 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.